A Love Letter to my Husband

Five hundred twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes

Today, I find myself staring in the face of a very significant milestone - the one-year anniversary of your death.

It's hard to believe that I have gone 365 days without you here…It's a day that carries a weight of emotions, a mix of sorrow, reflection, and perhaps even a glimmer of acceptance.

In the days leading up to this anniversary, my mind has been a whirlwind of memories, both joyous and painful. I've found solace in revisiting our cherished moments together, reminiscing about the laughter we shared, the adventures we embarked on, and the love that bound us together.  I listened to an episode of our podcast today…and laughed along just as I did when we recorded it.  Your humor and ridiculousness are missed in such a huge way! I am so thankful to have these recordings!

I remember how I felt when I first realized that I loved you.  I remember it well because, to this day, I still feel the exact same way.  They say that if you feel grief in a big way, then the love was even bigger.  I keep telling myself that despite the circumstances, I AM a lucky girl.  I am lucky because I have felt the most ultimate love imaginable...the stuff fairytales are made of! 

Now that you are gone, there's an undeniable ache, a longing for the presence of the one who once filled my days with warmth and companionship.  I have spent the better part of the year putting on a brave face...only showing vulnerability with those I trust the most.

But grief is a complex journey. In the past year, I've experienced moments of overwhelming sadness, anger, and confusion. There have been days when the weight of loss felt unbearable, when the world seemed to blur into a haze of numbness. But amidst the darkness, there have also been moments of unexpected light - the kindness of friends and family, the comfort found in sharing our stories about you, and building our business with the help of our kids! I know that you are so proud of us.

As I approach this anniversary, I find myself reflecting not only on the loss I've endured but also on the resilience that has carried me through. I've learned that grief is not something to be overcome or conquered, but rather something to be carried.  I have also learned that not everyone handles grief the same way. 

As I light a candle for you, I'm reminded that love transcends the boundaries of time and space. Though you are no longer with us in the physical sense, your spirit lives on in our laughter, the echoes of your voice in our heads when we wonder “what would George do?”, and the enduring bond that connects us, now and forever.

Loving you…forever and always. 143